Thursday, October 7, 2010

Post from Little Miss Hadley Blog, she says it so well.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

my soapbox.

I know a lot has been in the press about Children's Hospital this last week. A place I take great pride in working at. A place that treats and saves hundreds of sick kids a day. A place that spends MILLIONS of dollars on helping kids, and doesn't get any compensation in return. A place where I've truly seen miracles happen. And although I know intimately the details of the events, and it absolutely kills me to read the newspapers and idiot people's comments on-line...to be quite honest it infuriates me...I'm not allowed to say what happened. But, I can tell you this, it's not as cut and dry or black as white as the media makes it sound...and I can also tell you that the two nurses involved are phenomenal people that I would let take care of my own kid any day of the week.

We are human beings, we make mistakes. I still hold on to two very huge mistakes I have made in my career, I was just lucky enough that they didn't have a tragic outcome. And sometimes a stroke of luck is all it comes down to. Because nurses are the front line, we are the 'do-ers', we are the final check. I wish, that we did just what some of the public perceived, took blood pressures, brought patients water, and smiled politely while doctors ordered us around....but we don't. We work in a world of constant distractions. We not not only take care of severely, critically, ill children (not the cute little sick ones they show on the news)...but we also take care of their moms, dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and siblings. We are constantly asked questions, constantly explaining what we are doing and why, constantly being scrutinized, and I understand because I cannot imagine a greater fear than giving up care of your own child to a stranger. We are constantly getting phone calls from radiology, from EEG techs, from Ultrasound techs, from pharmacists, from the lab, from the blood bank, from primary care providers, from social workers, and from families. We are constantly coordinating everything for every service We are searching for our patients charts, calling doctors, updating flow sheets, and assessing, always assessing. We know from hour to hour, geez, from minute to minute, a patient can deteriorate in the blink of an eye. We are constantly checking orders from physicians, making sure we have orders we need, making sure we get orders we don't have, and making sure all of these orders are safe for the patient. We are giving medications, checking and double checking, checking to make sure the 8, 9 and/or 10 continuous medications that are running in with each other are even compatible, checking to make sure some medications don't run out...because that could be life threatening, making sure doses are correct, and making sure they are being giving to the patient they are intended for. We are also hunting down parents to sign consents, updating parents as their child is in surgery, and holding parents when they see their baby in absolute dire straits. We are constantly 'doing'. We wear 30 different hats. We are the coordinators, the educators, the advocates, the comforters, the realists, the 'last check', the shoulders to cry on, the hands to hold, and the ones remembered. We do all of this in 12 hours, because 8 hours simply wouldn't do. We do all of this with a smile on our face, because we love what we do. Every single person I work with absolutely, without a doubt, loves what they do. We work hard, we don't take breaks, we get lunch when we can, we trust each other implicitly, and we rarely complain. We want to be in the thick of it all and we are always one step ahead. No matter what happens, we are prepared. We are the eyes and the ears. And then we go home. And we act like nothing happened. We don't talk about the 9 day old that we did chest compressions on for over an hour, the father that was screaming in the corner, we don't talk about the mom that finally got to hold her baby, for the first time ever, only to watch him take his last breath, and we don't talk about the mother we quietly sat with as their child lay in the operating room having limbs amputated due to some serious bacteria that somehow affected their perfectly normal child only two days ago. We just go home, maybe say work was a little busy...because really, nobody else could ever understand what we see and do, kiss our own kiddos on the head as they sleep, and know how truly, truly lucky we are to have them safe and sound in their beds, eat some dinner, and pack our lunch for the next 12 hour day. We do this 365 days a year, 24 hours a day...weekends & holidays...and we do it with a smile. Because when it comes down to it, none of us could ever imagine doing anything else in the world.

Persevering through the good, the bad and the ugly

These last two weeks at work have rocked Seattle Children's to the core and caused the entire community of Seattle to turn on our once untouchable hospital. It's amazing to me how quickly the media can turn. I see it everyday in tabloids and in the papers. The once prestigious icon has become a scandalous wreck. That exactly what has happened at Children's. Rewind back three weeks ago and all you hear about Children's is the amazing work it does everyday. The children we save each day, the miracles performed by the best doctors and nurses in the world, the break thoughs in cancer and cystic fibrosis research that will save millions of lives now and the year to come. Now the headlines say something different.
It is tragic, truly, truly tragic. As a mother and a nurse, my heart absolutely breaks for the families that were affected. There truly is nothing that we can do to take back what has happened. But I also know that things aren't as black and white as papers are making it out to seem. It's never just one person, just one break in the system. All the individuals involved in these fatal errors were true professionals. They had been doing their jobs for years and years. It was as simple as a mathematical error or a laps in judgement or a misunderstanding. The actions performed were done with the patients best interest at heart. Sadly, in the process of helping the patient, they indeed hurt them and ultimately killed them. I can't even imagine.
I have thought of the nurse in the Cardiac ICU daily since this news came out. I have tired to imagine what she must be feeling and how she is reacting to the backlash of our beloved hospital has received, all stemming from that one bad day with that one fatal mistake. I know she must know that it could have happened to anyone. That we all make mistakes. But how is she coping, knowing a child died. A child she no doubt cared very deeply for, as she had taken care of that child for 8 months. I hope there is someone who is wrapping their arms around her right now. I hope she finds comfort and joy in knowing the there are hundreds of nurses, doctors, RT's, Social workers, ES workers, family and friends on her side. I hope that she is able to lay down at night and feel the Lords arms around her with Him whispering in her ear the He loves her and He is holding her tight all day and night through this storm. I don't know who she is, but I know she is loved.
This has brought me back to my very bad day a little over a year ago. My one very bad mistake. I can't help but think, this could have been me. It could have been me! By the grace of God, it wasn't, but it only took a second, a momentary lap in my thought process. I could have harmed a child, I could have brought the hospital to it's knees. It gives me chills to think about. My own mistake and the mistake of the others involved most currently have forced me to reevaluate my practice everyday. To make sure i am doing everything I can to be safe and following the policies and procedures to the t.
Although I have stopped watching the news as I can't stand to hear all the speculations and lies, I do have to say, I have seen an outpouring of support from many of people in the community. There are many people out there supporting us and the staff involved, and to that I say thank you. I am proud of where I work and what we do everyday. We truly are doing God's work and I see His hand everyday. God does teach us that there will be struggles, this is ours and we will persevere.